Build a Bridge of Friendship and Let Jesus Walk Over It

How do we carry out this statement with wisdom and healthy boundaries? What kind of bridge of friendship should we build that is healthy for ourselves and our friends in need?

Is it possible to diligently exercise boundaries in serving hurting people in our community and still be loving them and God with our whole hearts?

How should I respond to people on the street who say they're hungry and ask for money?

What if someone tells me that he or she is homeless with no where to go?

Are these questions something that we can attempt to answer, or is all of this just too much and should be left to "the professionals"?

Maybe you've asked yourself these questions before. These are questions that deserve answers. Let's look together at how our church, Vineyard Church of Columbus, responds:

Build a bridge of friendship and let Jesus walk over it is the shortened mission statement of Fruit of the Vine, our church's Urban and Mercy Ministry. Inherent in the statement is the reality that this is not about charity, but is about Jesus and the Kingdom of God. Matthew 25:31-40 represents examples of bridges of friendship that we build through mercy ministry, Matthew 28:16-20 represents Jesus working by the Holy Spirit through his church to bring salvation and the Kingdom of God into the lives of those we serve. We call this kingdom-based ministry.

Have you ever walked over a bridge you felt was unsafe? The bridges of friendship we build should be built with wisdom and should be as safe as possible for ourselves and for those we are serving. Here are healthy boundaries we value and ask all of our congregation members to consistently practice:

1. We pray before we go into ministry settings. Since everywhere we go can become a ministry setting, it is a good way of life to pray as we begin each day for grace to respond wisely to the divine opportunities God sets before us. (Eph 2:10)

2. It's never "us and them." Everyone was born into this broken and lost world and if we're saved then we are refugees who have already experienced the rescuing mercy and grace of God.

3. We do not give out our last names, phone numbers, or addresses, ever. Use your first name and give out freely the phone number of the church with Fruit of the Vine's extensions (ext. 3360, 4410).

4. We do not bring people home that we don't know. Resist the temptation to believe that you are not loving people as God has called you to if you observe appropriate boundaries. God alone is Savior and He has a vital part for us to play, but our involvement remains only a part, and that it alright.

5. We don't give out money. Our response may very well include the spending of money, but to give out cash will confuse the mission statement of what you're doing, especially to our friends struggling with addictions.

6. We don't tolerate disrespect to the women on our outreach teams, and as for you women, as individuals, you should not tolerate disrespect either. Disrespect in word or deed is calmly and immediately addressed during group outreaches. We address these situations calmly so that the grievance will remain the primary focus instead of making an escalation of personal and immediate confrontation the main focus. If there is not an immediate and sincere apology we will leave and we will make if clear we will not return unless there is a sincere apology, accompanied by appropriate change of behavior. Women, if you are by yourselves, simply walk away without a word.

We ask that none of the women become isolated in a non-public place ever. We also discourage women from taking unfamiliar men to lunch even in a public place. And for the guys, we discourage taking unfamiliar women to lunch or anywhere in your car. So what can we do in a situation such as a homeless person asking us for money because they are hungry? If you are able to respond without causing a traffic accident, I would advise giving them a brown paper gift bag. This can contain a plastic bottled water, granola bars, a pair of warm socks and/or stocking cap/gloves, perhaps a small gift certificate to a McDonalds, a Bible tract, and any other non-perishable food item you think they might enjoy. ("Street Cards" are also available from Fruit of the Vine which give a brief description of the resources available in Columbus for our friends on the street). Having this ready in your car, or in your backpack as you're out and about allows you to anticipate what God might do in the life of a person in need.

Where are consistent opportunities to reach out in significant ways to people in our community who are in serous need? Fruit of the Vine has about 20 outreaches for individuals and families and Small Groups to participate in. Several other ministries in our church such as the Zone, the Pro-Life Ministry, Project Compassion, Bridge Builders to people living with disabilities, and others as well, welcome your involvement in their significant ministry opportunities also.

I encourage you, with all my heart, to make kingdom-based mercy ministry an integral part of your way of life. God won't love you more but you'll encounter Him more deeply, than ever before because that's where He can be found. (Matthew 25:31-40) And remember, as you enter more deeply into serving our friends and neighbors in need, walk in wisdom, keep healthy boundaries, and build safe bridges.

In this wonderful congregation, over 1,400 of you individually, and over 100 small groups, have participated with us in FOTV outreaches. We thank God for your faithfulness, and love towards the least and the lost and we warmly invite each of you in our church to explore further outreach possibilities to participate in with us. In addition, FOTV offers a "Life of the Disciple Class" called "The Compassionate Life."

May God Bless You,

Dan Franz